Benjamin Franklin once remarked, “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged.” In short, the best way of getting someone to like you is not to do them a favour, but rather to get them to do you a favour. The idea is theoretically sound. According to some psychologists, we spend much of our time justifying our actions to ourselves. It is as if we watch ourselves as an impartial observer, and then try to work out why we have done what we have done. Thus, if you can get someone to carry out a small favour for you, such as telling you the time or giving you some advice, they are likely to think that they helped you because they liked you. But does the theory really work? To find out, psychologists Jon Jecker and David Landy conducted a rather unusual study. First, they had participants win some money during an experiment. Then, soon after leaving the lab, the researchers asked some of the participants a favour, explaining that they were short of cash, and wondering if the participant would mind returning the money. Finally, participants were asked to rate how much they liked the researcher. As predicted by Franklin, the participants who returned the money liked the researcher far more than another group who were allowed to keep their winnings.
59 Seconds tip: The best way of getting someone to like you is not to do them a favour, but rather to get them to do you a small favour.
Jecker, J. and Landy, D. (1969). Liking a person as function of doing him a favor. Human Relations, 22, 371-378.
Happiness researchers Kenneth Sheldon and Sonja Lyubomirsky studied people who had recently experienced one of two types of change in their life. The first type, labeled ‘circumstantial change’, involved relatively important alterations to their overall circumstances (e.g., moving house, getting a pay rise, or buying a new car). The second type, labeled ‘intentional change’, involved changes that required effort to pursue a goal or initiate an activity (e.g., joining a new club, starting a new hobby, or embarking on a different career). Both groups reported an immediate rise in happiness, but those experiencing circumstantial change quickly reverted back to their initial levels, whilst those who had made an intentional change remained happier for much longer. Why? When you have the same wonderful experience time and again you become familiar with your new source of joy, and so cease to derive anywhere near as much pleasure from it. In contrast, intentional changes create a constantly changing psychological landscape that prolongs happiness.
When people are sad, they cry. When they are happy, they smile. When they agree, they nod their heads. Exactly the same process works in reverse, even when people are not aware of their facial expressions. In the 1980s, psychologist Fritz Strack asked one group of participants to hold a pencil between their teeth, but to ensure that it did not touch their lips. Another group supported the end of the pencil with just their lips, but not their teeth. Without realising it, those in the ‘teeth only’ condition had forced the lower part of their faces into a smile, whilst those in the ‘lips only’ condition had made themselves frown. Everyone then judged how funny they found Gary Larson’s Far Side cartoons, and rate how happy they felt. Participants tended to experience the emotion associated with their expressions. Those who had their faces forced into a smile felt happier, and found the Far Side cartoons much funnier, than those who were forced to frown. Other work has demonstrated that this increase in happiness does not drain away the moment people cease smiling. It lingers, affecting many aspects of their behavior, including interacting with others in a more positive way, and being more likely to remember happy life events.
Elizabeth Dunn from The University of British Columbia gave participants $20 and then randomly assigned them to one of two groups. One group was instructed to spend the money on themselves (perhaps treating themselves to a self-indulgent present), whilst the second group was asked to spend their unexpected windfall on someone else (perhaps by purchasing a present for a friend or family member). Participants who spent the money on their friends and family felt significantly happier than those who treated themselves to luxury gifts. Similarly, happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky arranged for participants to perform five non-financial acts of kindness each week for 6 weeks (e.g., writing a thank-you note, giving blood, or helping out a friend). Those that carried out all such acts increased their happiness by an incredible 40%.
Want to enjoy increased happiness? This simple exercise will help put a smile on your face.
The old adage suggests that curiosity killed the cat. However, research suggests exactly the opposite.
Open a self-help book, or attend a self-development course, and you are likely to come across the ‘Yale Goal Setting’ Study. In 1953 a team of researchers interviewed Yale’s graduating seniors, asking them whether they had written down the specific goals that they wanted to achieve in life. Twenty years later the researchers tracked down the same cohort and found that the 3% of people who had specific goals all those years before had accumulated more personal wealth than the other 97% of their classmates combined. The study is used to illustrate the power of focus. There is just one small problem…. 
Want to increase your creativity? It might be easier than you think!
